Fat at New Year: A Poem

I am nothing


Or less

Than a pie on the ocean floor

Gasping for air

And the body I will never have.


I see you, Mr Crab

Walking sideways, pincers out

Pinch my fat

I won’t walk anywhere

But I will eat you for dinner.

2 leek, 2 carrot, 1 onion, 1 celery stick, 1 small fennel bulb, 1 garlic head, halved, large sprig each basil, thyme, tarragon and parsley, 20g rock salt, 1 lemon, sliced, 2ml white wine vinegar, 2 star anise, 300ml dry white wine, 1 whole fresh crab



My carb-face

Is a bloated, savory pie

Running out of thyme.

I read that pun on a Christmas card once.

The card got covered in drool.


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